U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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