i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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