Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize