Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
