Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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