dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
