dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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