....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize