Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
one might say we're banned from that church
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
