im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
