We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
