Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
