where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you had me at cake vodka
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
