and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
