At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
