please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
