Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
