Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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