if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize