my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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