i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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