GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
