i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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