You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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