she woke up with a sticky ear
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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