There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
