Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
