Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
