so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Drake has all the answers
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
