ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize