is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Small penises have feelings too.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
