So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
