Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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