Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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