I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
