I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
