i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize