He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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