Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
