I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
