I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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