you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Dicks are not precious.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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