It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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