is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
