hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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