You made me cry and you don't even care
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just found puke in my bra..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
