He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
