: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You pole danced in your parka.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
