Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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