Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
