It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
