had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize