worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
