Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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