Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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