I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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