Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
