please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize