your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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