so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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