Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize