How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
