my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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