i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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