You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
