No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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