i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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