mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize