If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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