remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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