I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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