fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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