i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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